Should I Waive My Right to See My Letters of Recommendation?
Alright. So let's dig into something that I know can be confusing Yeah. For anyone going through college applications
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Recommendation letters
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And, specifically, that tricky question Yes. About whether or not you should waive your right to see them.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It can feel like a gamble.
Speaker 1:It does feel like a gamble.
Speaker 2:But what's behind curtain number 1?
Speaker 1:Exactly. Yeah. So we're gonna break it all down for you today Yeah.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And and hopefully help you make the most informed decision. Yeah. So first things first. Yeah. Let's talk about your rights as a student.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Did you know that you actually have a legal right to see those letters?
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:Thanks to FERPA.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:FERPA stands for?
Speaker 2:The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act.
Speaker 1:Right. And it gives students the right to access their educational records Yes. Which includes recommendation letters.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's there to protect your privacy
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And ensure you have access to information about your education. That's right. So you have the right to see what your teachers are saying about you. Uh-huh. But then colleges throw a curve ball Yeah.
Speaker 1:By asking you to waive that right. Right. So it seems a little counterintuitive, doesn't it?
Speaker 2:Well, it does seem counterintuitive, but colleges actually have a reason for this.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:They believe that recommenders are more likely to be completely honest and candid if they know that the student won't ever see the letter.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:I mean, think about it. It's a lot easier to be completely truthful
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:When you know that the person you're writing about won't be reading your every single word.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. Yeah. So it's all about creating an environment of trust Yeah. Both between the recommender and the college Right. And between you and your recommender.
Speaker 2:That's right. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that trust can actually strengthen your application
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:By waiving your right. Yeah. You're sending a signal to colleges that that you have confidence in your recommender's assessment of you.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:That you believe they'll paint an accurate and genuine picture of who you
Speaker 2:are. Exactly.
Speaker 1:So there's a potential strategic advantage Yes. To waiving.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. But I can also see why some students might be hesitant
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Even nervous
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:About giving up that. Right? I mean, it's like giving up control of a part of your application Oh,
Speaker 1:yeah.
Speaker 2:And the unknown can be a little scary.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It's a valid concern. Right. It's important to remember that there's always a chance Mhmm. However small Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:That a recommender could accidentally include incorrect information or misinterpret something.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:And if you've waived your right to see the letter Right. You won't have a chance to correct it.
Speaker 2:That's a really good point.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like a balancing act
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Weighing the potential benefits of waiving against the peace of mind that comes with knowing exactly what's being said about you.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So how do you actually make this decision? What Is there a right or wrong answer?
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, there isn't a one size fits all answer. Okay.
Speaker 2:The best approach is to consider your individual circumstances
Speaker 1:Yeah. And really think about your relationship with each recommender. So let's say you've got a teacher Okay.
Speaker 2:Who's with each recommender.
Speaker 1:So let's say you've got a teacher Okay. Who's known you for years. You've had a great relationship.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:You've excelled in their class.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And they've even been a mentor to you outside of the classroom.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:In that scenario, waiving your right might feel like a no brainer.
Speaker 2:I would agree with that.
Speaker 1:But what about those situations where it might not be so clear cut?
Speaker 2:Well, that's where it gets tricky.
Speaker 1:K.
Speaker 2:For example, if you have a recommender who you haven't known as long
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Or if you're not a 100% certain about how they perceive you
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:It might be wiser to hold on to your right to see the letter.
Speaker 1:I see.
Speaker 2:It's like a safety net
Speaker 1:You are right.
Speaker 2:Giving you a chance to catch any potential misunderstandings or inaccuracies
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Before they reach the admissions committee.
Speaker 1:And it sounds like the selectivity of the college also plays a role in this decision.
Speaker 2:It definitely can. Colleges that are highly selective, those that receive thousands of applications every year
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:And to place a lot of weight on recommendation letters
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:They're looking for those authentic Uh-huh. Unfiltered insights that help them get to know an applicant beyond their grades and test scores.
Speaker 1:That makes sense. Yeah. So in those cases, waiving the right could be seen as a way to strengthen your application.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:To show that you're confident in your recommenders
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And you're willing to let them speak for you. Uh-huh. But if you're applying to a less selective school
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Where recommendations might not be as heavily weighted
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You might decide that it's not worth the risk of not knowing what's in those letters.
Speaker 2:It's all about weighing the pros and cons Yeah. In the context of your specific situation and the schools that you're targeting.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So we talked about the pros and cons of waiving your right to see those recommendation letters.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But now I kinda wanna switch gears a little bit and talk about something that I think could be really helpful for students and recommenders to really put your best foot forward.
Speaker 2:Okay. You're talking about the brag sheet. Right?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, I've heard so many parents and students buzzing about these.
Speaker 1:Yes. The brag sheet. Yeah. And I think, honestly, the name itself kinda does a disservice
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Because it makes people feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like, they're being asked to boast.
Speaker 2:Right. Tell everybody how great I am.
Speaker 1:Right. It's really not about that at all. No.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 1:Think of it more as a helpful guide Mhmm. For your recommenders.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a way to give them all the information that they need to write a really strong and detailed letter of recommendation.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Because you know they might not remember every single thing
Speaker 1:that you've done.
Speaker 2:Right. Especially if you haven't been in their class recently.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So a brag sheet can really jog their memory
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:And help them connect the dots between all of your amazing experiences.
Speaker 1:It's like giving them a behind the scenes look at your journey, all the things that make you well you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And the funny thing is Yeah. Creating a brag sheet can actually be a really valuable exercise for you too.
Speaker 1:Oh, I bet.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because you're taking stock of everything you've accomplished, everything you've learned.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It forces you to kinda reflect on your experiences
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And think about what you want to highlight. Uh-huh. What are you most proud of?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:What are the things that really make you stand out?
Speaker 1:So it's like a self discovery exercise disguised as a college application tool.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I'm sold on the value of a bridesheet.
Speaker 2:Okay. Good.
Speaker 1:What actually goes into 1? Is there a specific format?
Speaker 2:There are definitely some common elements.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You'll wanna start with the basics.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You you know, your name, contact info Uh-huh. The high school you attend a graduation date, and then a list of the colleges that you're applying to.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That last one is especially helpful for your recommenders because then they can kind of tailor their letters to each school.
Speaker 1:Makes sense then. Where?
Speaker 2:And then you go into your academic history. Okay. So, like, your GPA.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:Any honors or AP courses you've taken, standardized test scores, any academic awards you've received.
Speaker 1:Okay. So it's sounding a bit like a resume.
Speaker 2:It is kinda like a resume.
Speaker 1:But I bet there's more to it than that.
Speaker 2:There is. Yes. Okay. The next part is the extracurricular activities section.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:This is where you can really showcase your passion and interests outside of the classroom.
Speaker 1:So clubs, sports volunteer, work leadership positions you've held?
Speaker 2:Exactly. And don't just list them.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:You wanna go into detail. Like, what were your roles and responsibilities? Right. What impact did you have? Any challenges that you overcame or special achievements?
Speaker 1:So you're painting a picture for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're not just giving them a list.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And here's a key tip.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Whenever possible, quantify your accomplishments.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Did you help raise a certain amount of money for charity?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Did your leadership lead to a specific outcome for your club? Numbers can really make those accomplishments stand out.
Speaker 1:Okay. So we've got academics.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We've got extracurriculars. Yes. What else goes on this masterpiece of self promotion?
Speaker 2:Well, if you've had any jobs or internships
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:You can include a section for work experience.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Highlight the skills that you developed Yeah. Responsibilities that you managed Uh-huh. And any insights that you gained from those experiences.
Speaker 1:I imagine colleges really like seeing work experience
Speaker 2:Oh, they do.
Speaker 1:Because it shows initiative
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:A willingness to go beyond the traditional academic path.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And then to round things out, you can consider adding a section for your skills and talents and for your personal qualities.
Speaker 1:Those sound interesting. Yeah. Tell me more.
Speaker 2:Okay. So the skills and talents section Uh-huh. This is where you can showcase any special abilities or areas of expertise that you have.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Maybe you're a coding whiz or you speak another language fluently or you're a talented musician or artist. It's a chance to really let your unique strength shine.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So much of the college application process feels so standardized.
Speaker 2:It does.
Speaker 1:It's nice to be able to highlight those things that make you different.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Yeah. And then the personal qualities section.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:This is all about showcasing those core character traits that make you a valuable addition to any campus community.
Speaker 1:So things like leadership teamwork, communication skills Yeah. Problem solving abilities, resilience
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Strong work ethic.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:All those things that aren't always reflected in grades or test scores.
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's like you're giving them a glimpse into who you are as a person, not just as a student. Exactly. And don't be afraid to get a little bit personal here. Okay.
Speaker 2:Think about specific anecdotes or examples that illustrate these qualities.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Maybe you overcame a really challenging situation Right. Or took initiative to lead a project.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Sharing those stories can really help your recommenders bring your application to life.
Speaker 1:So we talked about FERPA waivers and even how to create that brag sheet that'll showcase your strengths.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But there's one more piece to this puzzle.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And it's a piece that can feel a little awkward, even intimidating.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:Asking someone to write you a letter of recommendation.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It's one of those things that a lot of students dread
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Even though it's a really important part of the process.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:You wanna be respectful of your potential recommender's time.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But you also wanna make sure they feel comfortable and confident saying yes.
Speaker 2:Yes. It's a delicate balance. Is No one wants to feel like they're putting someone on the spot. Right. But you also don't wanna miss out on a potentially
Speaker 1:amazing letter
Speaker 2:of recommendation. Exactly. So how do you approach this conversation in a way that feels natural
Speaker 1:Yeah. And respectful? Well, the first
Speaker 2:step is to choose the right people to ask. Okay. These should be individuals who know you well Mhmm. Who have seen your strengths and accomplishments firsthand, and who you believe can speak to your character and potential in a truly meaningful way.
Speaker 1:So not just someone who gave you a good grade No. But someone who really gets you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Think about teachers
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Mentors, coaches, club advisers, even employers, anyone who's had a significant impact on your journey
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And can offer specific examples of your abilities and qualities.
Speaker 1:So you've got your list of potential recommenders.
Speaker 2:Okay. Now what? Now what?
Speaker 1:Do you just send them an email out of the blue You could. And say, hey, will you write me a letter of recommendation?
Speaker 2:Email can be a convenient way to initiate the conversation
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Especially if you're not able to connect in person.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But whenever possible, I recommend starting with a face to face conversation.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's interesting. Why is that?
Speaker 2:Well, for one thing, it shows that you value their time
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:And that you're serious about this request.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It's a more personal approach.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But it also allows for a more nuanced conversation
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Where you can gauge their reaction and address any questions or concerns they might have right then and there.
Speaker 1:That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I'm sitting down with a potential recommender. What do I actually say?
Speaker 2:Start by expressing your gratitude for their support and guidance.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Briefly explain your college goals
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:And why you believe their perspective would be valuable to the admissions committee.
Speaker 1:So I'm so grateful for the impact you've had on me.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm applying to a few colleges
Speaker 2:Uh-huh. And
Speaker 1:I was hoping you might consider writing me a letter of recommendation.
Speaker 2:Perfect. Keep it concise and sincere.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And then let them know that you've prepared a brag sheet
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:With information about your activities and accomplishments.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Offer to share it with them electronically or in printed form, whatever is easiest for them.
Speaker 1:And that brings us back to that FERPA waiver we talked about earlier.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Is that something you discussed in this initial conversation?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's important to be upfront about the waiver process
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And explain what it means for both of you. Right.
Speaker 1:Let them know that you understand the implications Mhmm. And that you trust their judgment.
Speaker 2:So I could say something like colleges often ask students to waive their right to see these letters.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm completely comfortable waiving mine because I trust you to represent me accurately.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I wanted to make sure you were aware of this before you agree.
Speaker 1:That's a great way to put it. It shows maturity
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And respect for their role in the process.
Speaker 2:What if the recommender seems hesitant or unsure about whether they can write a strong letter?
Speaker 1:That's a good sign to be respectful of their time
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And potentially seek a recommendation from someone else. Okay. It's always better to have a truly enthusiastic and supportive recommender
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Than someone who feels obligated or unsure.
Speaker 2:That's such a good point. Quality over quantity every time.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's much better to have a few stellar letters from people who really know you
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Than a bunch of mediocre ones.
Speaker 1:Exactly. And remember, even if someone declines your request Right. It's not personal.
Speaker 2:Right. They might have legitimate reasons like a heavy workload
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or a school policy about not writing recommendations.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Just thank them for their time and consideration and move on to your next potential recommender.
Speaker 1:Okay. So everything goes well, and your recommender says yes.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 1:Is there anything else you should do to make this whole process easier for them?
Speaker 2:Definitely make sure to provide them with all the necessary information and deadlines.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Share those official recommendation forms, any supplemental materials the colleges require
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:And clear instructions on how and where to submit everything.
Speaker 1:Basically, eliminate any obstacles that might prevent them from singing your praises.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And, of course, once they've submitted the letter Yes. Follow-up with a thank you note.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:A handwritten note is always a thoughtful gesture.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:But even a heartfelt email expressing your gratitude will go a long way.
Speaker 1:It's all about building those relationships Yes. And showing your appreciation for the time and effort they're investing in you.
Speaker 2:Well said.
Speaker 1:I think we've covered just about everything you need to know to navigate this whole recommendation letter process.
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:From understanding your rights under FERPA to crafting a brag sheet that showcases your unique strengths
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:To approaching those all important conversations with confidence and grace, we've really explored it all.
Speaker 2:We have.
Speaker 1:And the good news is you don't have to do this alone.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:There are resources out there to help you every step of the
Speaker 2:way. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:You can connect with your school counselor, explore online resources
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And you can even check out innovative platforms like College Journey.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:They offer a wealth of information and support
Speaker 2:Yes. They do.
Speaker 1:For navigating the college admissions process, including an AI college counselor named Alice
Speaker 2:I love Alice.
Speaker 1:Who can provide personalized recommendations.
Speaker 2:That's great.
Speaker 1:So many options to make this journey a little less stressful.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Remember, this is a process Yes. And it's okay to ask for help.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Well said.
Speaker 2:Thank you.
Speaker 1:Well, I think we've reached the end of our deep dive into recommendation letters.
Speaker 2:We have.
Speaker 1:We hope you found this episode informative and maybe even a little bit empowering.
Speaker 2:Yes. Good luck with your college applications, everyone.
Speaker 1:Best of luck.
